Thursday, June 22, 2006

At least parents known their kids are bastards...

Well I do have some good news to report...this week I have made over $30 in tips. Thats right, I did not stutter. These parents tipped me for my services this week. They finally realize the hell I go through dealin with their little badass children and have compensated me accordingly. So now I can afford to put my clothes in the cleaner and buy alcohol...YAY!!!

Same problems as always with my goddamn cheap as trifilin roomate. Just so you know the one I have the biggest problem with is Kirk. I think if he were in Jamaica they would call him a 'bloodclot'. I can not stress how much this dude pisses me off. The details of how I detest him are not worth the cyberspace they would consume.

Sunday, June 4, 2006

O, Yeah Those Damn Spoiled Kids!

And HOW could I forget the "Holy Rollers"?!?!?!

So in my state of venting about my frustrating roommates I forgot to mention why I have rediscovered my hatred for spoiled kids and the group I grew to detest in the past whom I like to call "Holy Rollers". The latter group I will explain in more detail later.

Now, I will be fair and say that all kids are spoiled to some degree, including myself, but we all know the little bastards of whom I speak. The minute they enter the vacinity you can feel the bratiness eminating from them. These are the little munchkins that cry on cue, beat their parents and go so far as to make decisions despite the fact the parents could easily beat they little asses.

So here is the story of how I rediscovered my hatred for them while working this week. As we all know there are certain places that are magnets for spoiled brats (ice cream or candy stores, toy stores, and unfourtunatley for me pool decks, but in general it usually has to do with money.)

Well on Monday when I arrive for work there is no sign of the little bastards which makes me to believe it will be a good week of work. Ah, was I fooled; as I should have know, just as the freaks come out at night, the brats come out at noon. These little bastards came out of the wood work like I had never seen.

First this family of four children arrives @ the pool mother in tow, aside from their loud obnoxious behaviour which is sometimes forgivable in children my first indication that they were going to be trouble was when the mother, tryin to get control of them, threatened to "tell na-na". WTF!!!! Now an of you who half know me know what I was thinkin: "lady they ur damn badass kids and you gotta threaten them with ur mama, aint that some bullshit!"

Now needless to say and I dont mean to offend any of my friends but we all know these werent no "lil nigglets" (as I sometimes like to call them). (HAHAHA; sorry Crystal) Our mother would've beat our ass, especially since we was doin that shit in public.

All week long "Na-Na" was the controlling force to this little brood from hell. You would think if the woman and her husband, who was smart and left early in the week "to go back to work" (in my opinion he was prolly tryin to get some real peace away from these devil spawn that he couldnt get on vacation), couldnt control the first couple of little bastards they wouldve at least used the pull-out method!

Thankfully I met Na-Na and now I know why the threat works well. Na-Na got some sense in her head. I saw her pop one of the kids when they was actin out and not even flinch when they started to cry. There is a God and He is GOOD!

And while on the subject of God, lets move on to the Holy Rollers! While I will admit that I have recently come to find God and am very greatful for this introduction, this group still pisses me off to no end. Even those of you with faith will agree with me on this one. These mother fudgers are gettin married at 23, havin kids and bringin the bible and their guitar to the pool. Now dont jump on my case yet, but honestly who brings a bible to the pool to read like its the newest Stephen King novel.

Now they arent the worst case; the worst ones are the ones that go spreading the message while you are mindin ur business. Like the random dude who came up to me in a rest stop on the OH turnpike on my way home and asked me if I knew where I was goin when I died, While I was orderin BK no less. Once again WTF?!?!?! I was so tempted to say "Yes, I am going to dance with the devil on his glorious firey throne before we wage war on God and the Angels!" (with firey passion in my eyes and conviction in my voice of course) despite my new belief to the contrary, just so he would leave me the fuck alone, but God did prevail and I just said "yes" and moved on.

Uhh so much has been said that even I need a reprieve from my own thoughts...thats it for now.


Saturday, June 3, 2006

A great internship and the spoiled kids and annoying rommates it comes with

I Got Me A Good Internship

So I started workin full time at my resort this week, which means i work 10-5pm Mon and 9-5pm Tues-Fri. Its a great internship so far, but..... There are four of us in the apt, 2 per room. 2 are from Jamaica, 1 from the Phillipines and then me from "one flew over the coockoo's nest".

There are so many stories to tell but writin it on the internet does no justice. My roomate eats like a fuckin horse but dont want to buy shit always eatin other peoples shit.."o we share food in this house". 2 of them are border line alcoholics as long as they aint buyin the alcohol. the last one is more dramatic than a spanish soap opera. The 2 jamaicans are always fuckin sleepin on the damn couch like they dont know what the fuck a bed is. and the 2 alcoholics dont wanna clean the fuck up after themeselves in the kitchen like they fuckin want roaches runnin around in this bitch....enough venting for now...if u wanna talk and hear more detail give me a ring

"The Man Who Knows Something, Knows He Knows Nothing at All"