At an Impasse

Why am I not inspired to write? With so many things going on in my life, are none of them worth of forever in cyberspace. I have attempted everyday this week to write something down, but only to end up frustrated (a topic I thought about) or standing still (thought about that one too). I want so badly to have my thoughts flow from my brain through the key board, but I cant get the words right. Balancing life, thought about it....Inspiring Yet Disgusting, yeah it crossed my mind too. Flow dammit, flow. Would it be wrong to blog about a blog, or opine on an opinion? Would reading more and focusing less on the meaningless TV shows allow my mind to open like a fireplug on a July day in Harlem? I will not allow my mind to be turned into putty.

Time Gone By

I know its been a while since I been on here, a little over a month to be slightly more precise. For the most part all has gone well over the past month or at least things haven't changed for the worst. I am still grossly unsatisfied with my with my job, my brother is still living with me and being a pain in my ass and I am still training for the marathon. While I am sure something worthy of writing has occurred in the past month, my life often seem to be repetitive to me and that is something I desire my writing not to be; honestly how many times can I say my brother is 18 going on 12.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though. My brothers tenure here is coming to an end. I have acquired a pet time job to supplement my income and there is a possibility I might be acquiring a job with some career possibilities and greater riches.This isnt a very substantial journal, but comparatively it is a feast of information. My eyelids have grown heavy so it is time I retire. A more concerted effort will be made to update more often. Look for the novel in coming months.

I Do Care...

....O' Brother I can't, I can't get through/
I've been trying hard to reach you [but] I don't know what to do/
O' Brother I can't believe it's true/
I'm so scared [for your] future and I want to talk to you/
O' I want to talk to you/...
Are you lost or incomplete?/
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how you feel/
I feel like [I'm] talking in a language [you] dont speak/
And [I'm] talking it to [you]/...
So you don't know where you're goin, [but don't] wanna talk/
[I] feel like you're going where you've been before/
Anyone will listen, but you feel ignored/
[If] nothing's really making any sense at all/
Let's Talk
Let's Talk
Let's talk
[Please talk......]

The Return of the King?!?!?!....

...More like Prince Half-Baked. The kingdom of Obliviana had been quiet as of late with its royal constituency on sojourns to distant nations, Princess Peapod in Mississippi for two weeks on business and Prince Half-Baked out living up to his name sake. Dissappointed that he would not be able to enjoy solitude during the Princess' absence, Obliviana's lone pragmatic citizen was enjoying the calm, for he knew he sensed in his bones this was "the quiet before the storm."

Obliviana's prodigal son, Prince Half-Baked is worst than the fabled "cat that came back"; you think he is a goner, but... ("the cat came back the very next day") he always returns with his destruction and devistation closely in-tow. His latest return was as unwelcome as usual, no parades, no parties, not even a welcoming comittee. The weekend was upon Obliviana and the rest of the outlying world and people everywhere were just trying to unwind, sans beleagurement.

Astoundingly two days past without so much as an errant breath; could things really be looking up in Obliviana? Was Prince Half-Baked finally steping down from his self-ascended thrown? Surely this was all too good to be true, Prince Half-Baked never stayed anywhere for this long without causing a fuss. The day would not pass before the upheaval.

As evning set in Prince Half Baked's girlfriend of present Horseface Killah cameover for "dinner and a movie", but not on my damn TV. The two lovers were resigned to the small remote corner of the "land" to which he "controlled". Night set in and surely Horseface had a stable of her own to return to, surely her keepers would worry if she stayed the night. I ascended the stairs without so much as a peep to the two hoping a sound decision would be made by one of the two and she would not be in my home come the morning.

WHAT A FOOL AM I!!! Prince HB and Horseface decided to shack-up for the night in my GODDAMN HOUSE. This was an official "go" sign to be obnoxious. I clanked every loud thing we had in the house and turned on every bright light there was in an effort to rouse them from their slumber. Much to my delight my plan was successful and the two were unable to rest peacefully. I departed the kingdom for work, plotting my revenge on the Prince. 75 minutes post my departure I get a call from the Prince:
"hello?"
"yeah, can you come let me in? I forgot my keys inside on my dresser."
"you SOL yo! I'm already at work."
"o, ok"

...did you really leave the front door to our apt unlocked? If I come home and my shit is missing I will beat you within an inch of your life and then call the cops on you. I am gonna pray on your behalf yo...

Two fuck ups in less than 24 hours, you are really tryin to be exiled from the home. Unlike Princess Peapod, you my dear sir are not entitled to this kingdom. You are a visitor to this land, begrudgingly welcomed to help you gather yourself. I know most things logical do not occur to you, If they did you wouldn't be you. But when will you wake up?

The keys to the kingdom will be revoked tonight. I warned Princess Peapod before she handed them over that you could not be trusted. This isnt a vacation, living with us is supposed to suck, its the only way you will want to leave. Cuarenta y nueva dias! El puerto no esta lejos de aqui!

Am I Getting Too Old....

...for this????? This weekend was a throwback to my college days with a twist. Two nights of drinking heavier than needed, but not with a bunch of kids my age unwinding from classes and exams.

Kicked off the weekend with coworkers having a happy hour/going away party. Lots of free food, and some not so free alcohol. Started at 430pm and did a good job of pacing myself on the insipid liquid consumption limiting myself to only 3.5 beers. Problem was they were 20 oz. beers and 2 of them were dark (read: high alcohol content for you non-beer drinkers). By 915pm when I left I had a pretty good buzz goin on, but I couldn't hold a candle to what some of my coworkers were feeling. It's great to see that even your supervisors and older colleagues know how to unwind a little and have a good time. Go home, watch some TV, crash shortly after.

Saturday, you know the routine by now. Early morning rise because I have to run. The heat, humidity and sun were a brutal combo. Picked up my car and then it was off to see the parents. Free food as usual (they know how to get me to come visit) and some help with a few things in the process. Saturday night pre-party at my place (3 beers) and then off to the kickball house party. Yes it was an actual house party. For adults. Who weren't in college. Free beer, even though it was Miller Lite I indulged myself. I played drinking games that I had not participated in since junior year. Did a little drunk dancing, thats my MO. Then went with a crew to Ben's Chili Bowl. I LOVE CHILI CHEESE FRIES!!!

Sunday I paid for my action of the night before. HANGOVER! I blame the cheap beer. More free food with the 'rents and lots and lots and lots of sleeping off my hangover. I think I am getting too old for all this. Drinking two nights in a row is too much, especially when it was clearly more than I needed to both nights. Gonna get my act together. Jumbo Slice and Ben's are gonna be my undoing over the next two years.

Mini Vacation in SC starting Friday. Something good has gotta come out of that. Hopefully I can add a little more pigment to my skin. Maybe spark something up with an old fling, or mak a new one. Hahaha...we shall see. Stay tuned world, stay tuned.

Public Forum Does Not Equal Public Opinion

Contrary to the beliefs of some, a conversation held in a public forum is not an open invitation for public opinion. We all know the kamakaze opiners of whom I speak; they are instant miasmata to any good conversation. We find them lurking in both crowded and not so crowded subway cars, food courts around the world and ::gasp:: even on the job; these opiners can be the worst. Embolded by their psuedo familiarity with you and your fellow conversationalist, they have no qualms on adding unrequisited feedback. Why do people feel entitled provide input when none was garnered to begin with. Sir, it is great that you think Jim Carey was funnier in The Mask than Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, but I dont give two flying apeshits cause we were talking about Bruce Almighty! "You shouldnt make fun of people's virginty, it is their right." You know that is very true, too bad we weren't making fun of virgins; we were talking about the nicknames of High Schools nosy hoebag. Be careful when deciding to do your own, conversation tourism, one day someone like me just might snap and knock the shit out of you for it. Just because we are talking in public doesnt mean the public is welcome.

Revolution or Reform...

...are we ready? Can we handle it? What will it take to affect change? A generation of complacent, self absorbed, apathetic drones has been created due to the incessant consumption of mindless fodder all but force fed to us by media conglomerates like Viacom (read: MTV, BET, VH1, E!). We have lost touch of what reality truly is thanks to "reality TV". We spend hours and million$ obsessing over , and attempting to replicate "celebrity", because the media tells us being normal is not good enough. In a time when, more than ever, information is so readily available to all why do so many choose to remain ignorant. Does my mind deceive me? Is my perception we, as a society, are standing still? Or could it be that we are taking steps backward? We are taught in school about the struggles and triumphs of the past but do we actually learn from them? Do we truly grasp the significance of the Montgomery Bus Boycott, or the Declaration of Independence? If we do, how come we sit idlely while the government constantly misleads the public on crucial issues, excercises its own version of jurisprudence and openly ignores the plight of our countries poor, sick and suffering? I cannot speak on what it looks like in other countries, but I know first hand that the United States, is far from the glorious society of which it is so often depicted/portrayed.

I liken this country to aging empires of old. To my knowledge, change within an aging empire was brought about in one of two ways: Revolution or Reform. Will we go the way of the French with the blood of the poor, oppressed and forgotten filling the streets as they die for equality and acknowledgement? Will we collapse upon ourselves as the decadent and ostentatious behavior grow out of control like the late Romans? The Mayans, The Incas, The Ottomans, The Smuritans, The Britsh, have come and gone yet we learn not from the lessons of history. I myself am torn as to how I would like to see change brought about in our country. There is something that is so enticing about the passion invested in a violent revolution. There is no doubt of the significance when someone is willing to sacrafice their very existence for the betterment of themsleves and others. A peaceful resolution would speak volumes about our social evolution and set an example for future generations. It would provide hope for nations around the world embattled with similar issues. Collapse would be humbling as a nation but only further distance the "haves" from the "have-nots".

Though better than some, I am far from a model citizen of our generation. The work I complete to affect change on a global scale wouldnt make a ripple in a rain drop. We must get up and do something. Change healthcare, environmental regulation, education and defense as a start. A slow start is better than no start at all! Viva La Revolucion! IT WILL BE TELIVISED, WILL YOU FIND THE RIGHT CHANNEL!?!

Get Informed

A Goal Differed...

...but not forgotten. At the beginning of the year I set two goals for myself: run a marathon (hopefully better than Lance Armstrong) and get better at my Spanish. I am well on my way to achieving the first goal with my registration for the Marine Corps Marathon at the end of October and the training that I have been doing. For the second goal I attacked it head on, studying like my future existence was dependent upon me mastering this skill set by the end of the year. Lately however it has become a sidelined by other ambitions, a goal that is only reflected upon when it is convenient. Gosh darn my undiagnosed A.D.D Though my Spanish is better now than it was when I started, its not where it should/ could be if I had stuck to my guns and actually kept working on it post April 1st. Its time to recommit. Imma do it yall.

Did I Really?...

..Yes, I am pretty sure I did. I just had a nightmare about college. More than 6 months from the rigors of college courses and I am still fully capable of fretting over my performance. The nightmare is emblazoned quite vividly in my brain, and even now 5 hours later I can still remember the tiniest details from within....

I find myself in the dorm room I called home for the last 6 months of me collegiate career. Enjoying the last few days of my academic experience, I am taking a nap prior to post finals party. I am aroused from my peaceful slumber by the horrid thought that I might have missed an exam. How could I have been so stupid?!? I rocket from my comfortable double futon and rush to find my finals exam schedule. I find it and stare blankly at it trying hard to interpret what appears to aramaic to my still foggy brain. After several minutes of scanning the paper, including at least one where I was sure I had missed a final that would result in my failure and requisite non-graduation,

...My subconscious brain clicked on and I realized that I was trapped in a world of my own making. I had already graduated and I was just knocked out from a long weekend of self inflicted body abuse. No more dreams like that one please, I am through with my days of stress induced by excessive studying and not enough socializing.

Saturday Is Alright For....

...just about anything. While Saturdays have generally been pretty good over the past couple weeks, with each passing one I cant wait for the arrival of the next. Saturday's for me usually mean up early (630, 7ish) to do my long run, then some relaxing or tennis before running off to visit the family and see what food I can scoop up in the process. With the eviction of my brother last week, the past couple weekends havent been ideal, but I know how to roll with things.

This Saturday was great for several reasons. I woke up early enough to get a good run in before it got hot and Wimbledon got underway. As discussed in a previous post, Venus was crowned the Ladies Champion at Wimbledon, and I was able to sit and enjoy the whole thing. I visited the parents but it wasnt long or drawn out as can happen sometimes. And I returned home to do more chilling, a Saturday night of movies and SimCity4 was in store for me.

That is until I got a call from my friend Brian hoping to do something and thus begins my interesting night. First stop was Local 16. Not a bad place, but the main draw was the rooftop deck which was packed and it was hot as hell out there. The $6 mini Drinks didnt help either, one a piece and we were off to venture into other spaces. Adams Morgan here we come. Drink Count: 1

Angry Inch is the destination decided upon after some perusing. Its still kinda early so getting drinks is easy, they're cheaper and larger. Combination for a good time right? Another of Brians friend joins up with us just as the crowd starts to pick up in the bar but the place is cool and the people are alright. Minus the douchebag who not only is drunk off his ass, but he is hitting on anything that is blonde and has a vagina and attempts to smoke inside the bar. Hittin on the blondes doesnt bother me, but the smoking had to stop. A tap on the shoulder, a few "nice" words and one cigarette gone. Drink Count: 4... Onward with a good night.

Enough time has passed and the ratio of cool people to douchebags is decreasing, time to bounce from this place. Still early so into the street we spill with the rest of the crowd looking for the next cool place to go. South on 18th Street we treak glancing within each establishment as we go. A decision is made on a bar/club whose name we are unsure of to this moment. We ascend the stairs cause thats where the good music and people are. This is where the real party starts.

Another drink is had and my bladder is telling me to stop being an asshole. Upon entering the bathroom, I am greeted by three young ladies. Nothing new, drunk women are always in the men's room at clubs cause the wait is less. But the whopper is that two guys come out of the stall together. I take all this in while trying to piss. One of the girls goes "what were you two doing in there?" with an inflection in her voice that hints at the fact she thinks they are gay. Of course I burst into laughter and the guy promptly responds "none of your business, but if they arent gay, I dont think they convinced those girls or myself otherwise. Channing thinks they were doing drugs, but who knows and better yet who cares?!!?!? A random drunk chick who just got finished making out and grinding on some other brotha decides to try the same on me, but stringy blond hair, rolls hanging over your jeans and drunkily say "you're hot" is not a turn on. Thank God I am not an average dude. I see someone who catches my eye we rub elbows and she is close enough to speak to. Dark hair, good shape, and from what I can tell in the lack of adequate lighting she appears to be pretty cute, its too bad I dont have the balls to say something and test this "you're hot" theory before she disappears with her group of friends. Drink Count:6

Its around 2am and people are starting to spill out of the club. JUMBO SLICE HERE WE COME. Remind me why people bother to try and drive along this strip at this time on a Saturday?!? The place is packed but it is moving fast, they are pros at this. $4 slice of heaven, hot enough to burn the roof of my mouth and cause me to spill some tomato sauce on my white shirt. Nosy girls butted into our convo, Loud and Wrong. Thats the best way to be right?!?! But not even she could ruin my night. 230am and its time for home. The night awaits and I cant wait to fall into its embrace. If only I could afford nights like this more often.

And The Winners Are....

Miss. Venus Williams and Mr. Roger Federer. King and Queen of the All England Lawn and Tennis Club again (4 for V and 5 straight for The Fed). Ms. Williams, for the second time in her career, flew in under the radar and finished the tourney with reckless abandon. The way she gracefully and powerfully dismantled some players was astounding and magnificent to watch. As much as I love my future wife/ baby momma (I will take what I can get), Serena, it is always nice to see Venus perform on the surface she is most comfortable on.

My pre-tournament wish was for Justine and Shara-ho-va to go down early and big, and though the "early" part didnt come through, the "big" more than made up for it. The Thing glorified as gorgeous by the over zealous media, aka Shara-ho-va, was at the forfront of another Williams sister drumming. As you can imagine nothing made me happier than to watch Venus do to her what Serena had already done twice this year, strike fear into her bony-assed, stringy-haired heart. The Thing never threatened Venus for the match and despite its status as a match lasting two days play time was little more than an hour. Fittingly Justine also lost to a finalist, too bad the finalist was a 22 year old girl inspired by an actor taught and playing unconventionally and according to tennis player standards, well overweight. Thank You Tennis gods!

The mens Final turned out to be must see Tennis TV. There were moments when I was unsure who would win. Would "Boy Wonder" come through and dethrone The Fed Express? When is Roger finally gonna kick in to high gear and assert himself as THE King of Grass. 5 sets later and Roger slammed the point home. NOT YET BOY WONDER, ITS STILL MY TIME TO SHINE. Though Rafa annoys me on so many levels, (his OCD ticks, his ugly game faces, his incessant energy, his...) he has a big game and there is no doubt in my mind that barring an injury he will someday be number one and win a Grand Slam other than the French. The rivalry these two men have is nothing but good or the game. I hope to enjoy first hand this experience before their paths diverge.

Serena went down with an injury in the middle of the tournament. Won the match but was unable to finish the tournament in peak form. Hopefully she can get better in time for the US Open. Even if she is not a contender for the tourney as a singles player, let's bring back some of that good ol' Williams sisters doubles. You know aint no one out there better.

Next up on the tennis plate is the summer hard court season and the US Open Series Road Trip. Hows the cheesy commercial with the tennis celebs go? "6 tournaments, 8 weeks...." Do it justice ESPN or feel the wrath of an angry viewer. Maybe I will make it to Legg Mason this year, prolly not though. In need of some new strings and Shoes. Much better investment than a day at Legg Mason.

Whose House Is It Dammit????

...It's my house dammit! Or at least partially mine...

But more on that later, time for a little briefing. Its been a quick min since I was last on here and as a result there is quite a backlog of thought that need to be released from the prison of my skull. I often struggle with myself on what is TMI and how much should I truly put out there for the world to read, but then I remember the purpose of this is to abdicate myself of the mental torment that takes place by holding it in. Why not tell someone you ask? Mostly cause I am shy, despite what many of you might believe, and I often struggle expressing myself, truly expressing myself, in the presence of others. Besides there is nothing like reflecting to help you learn from the past. Bear with me as I reel off my thoughts of the past couple days over a few entries. This way you can choose to engorge on my life or just nibble at it. Prepare to be Domo-ed till your hearts content. Now back to your previously scheduled program already in progress.

...so who told you, little bastard, that just because you were allowed into our home as an alternative to living on the street you should feel free to make yourself comfortable. As a guest in someones house there are certain standards anyone with good home training knows to follow. And dont say you dont have good home training cause we come from the same home, problem is that shit prolly didnt stick with you. Using my bathroom to shower does not indeed entitle you to spend 20 mins in the bathroom "texting" someone prior to your shower, that is just sketchy. You dont take a shower so hot a vapor cloud escapes as you open the door and any entrants that shortly follow are made to feel like they have gone on safari. You do not eat up all the food, especially of someone who likes to eat. And most importantly (at least in my book) YOU DONT FUCKING DRINK A BEER, HIDE IT IN THE TRASH CAN AND "...DONT REMEMBER DOING IT." YOU FUCKING PATHALOGICAL LIAR!!!!!!!!

Actions such as these in my household lead to the hastening of your eviction date. Yes I love you, though sometimes its merely because I am supposed to, and yes I will do my damndest to help you if I can but you WILL NOT bring me down in the process. Get your shit together so you can get out and do what you want to do. You can be a fuck up on your own time, in your own space like our cousin that is gonna be a daddy "cause its something new." October 1 is the date that has been setforth, and it is based on behavior. Act right and try to get yourself together and we consider letting you stay longer. Continue down this path and you will find your belongings sitting on the stoop when you get back from work. When I signed my lease I knew I was moving in with one member of the royal family, a second member was not part of the deal. This "stable boy" only cleans up the shit of his own making!!!!

Time...

...To Come "Home". Its not where he should be, but the little bugger did manage to make it safely to a point of refuge. He is now staying with me, not the ideal situation since I can barely support myself, let alone my somewhat incompetent younger brother. I couldnt leave him on the street though. He was welcomed into the home of the princess and myself, with stipulations of course. House rules have been laid down, and I hope to God he respects them cause I dont want to have to put him out too. Don't know how I am gonna make it over the next couple months tryin to support the both of us and still have a normal life. I am not ready to be a "father" figure to an 18 year old. God give me strength. In the end though, it is better to struggle with family than to live like royalty alone. Adios y Buenos Dias

You Might Win Some...

...But they just lost one. Today started as most Saturdays have recently, me not running. This marathon is gonna suck. Plans had been laid for tennis in the evening, which means my entire day was filled with anticipation. I hadn't played too well all week so I was hoping to salvage my tennis game before weeks end. Life had other plans for me though.

Saturday also means time with the family with the first stop being my Gparents place. I hadn't seen them in a couple weeks and I had an ulterior motive, stealing the tennis ballhopper my grandfather had and no longer used. Shortly after entering the refuge, I briefly called home, my grandmother informs me of the latest chapter in the Dante Saga. Love my brother to death, but Dios Mio he is a fuck up.

Apparently last night he "borrowed" the car once again without asking. A metaphor as lame as "the straw that broke the camel's back" does not do justice in this instance. This was literally the end of my father's patience. Upon his return from his excursion, per my father's insistence, he was promptly evicted. Keys, phone and welcome were seized. He would be left to fare for himself on the sometimes hard streets of our city.

I knew my mother couldnt be taking this too well for she was the only reason he stayed in the house as long as he did. I thanked my g-rents for the proper warning they had provided me concerning the powder keg I was venturing into and headed to the home I fled for this very reason. Silent prayers uttered on the way to my parents house did little to comfort my soul that was seething in pain from my newest revelation. "Please Lord, grant us strength to survive and protect Dante on his perilous journey ahead."

I arrived home and much to my surprise, everyone appeared to be taking the situation rather well. Mom's facade cracked shortly before my exit, when my brother's boss called to ask why Dante hadn't showed up to work. Though neither of us could hear what my he was saying on the phone, based on my dad's responses we knew it wasn't good. At this point mom made an exit of her own. What is it about those walls that just drives people out? Being a momma's boy I did all I could to console my mother including guarantee her that my brother had space in my place should he come looking for it. I hate seeing tears flow down her cheeks.

I write this with, to my knowledge, no change in my brothers MIA status. Prayers are appreciated but not required. I am holding together fine so dont worry about me.

They just lost one.

A Song...

...for you.

I Love you in a place, where there is no space or time.I love you for my life, you're a friend of mine.And when my life is over, remember when we were together.We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

What A great song. No matter my mood, I am always capable of putting my life to music. Tonight's song was rejuvenated in my conscience by the horrible show "so you think you can dance" (Its a Peapod thing), but is stirred emotions within that existed on a subconscious level. The circumstances surrounding one of my best friends caused me to reflect on the life I have led and the relationships I have built. God this is a great song! Adios y Buenos Noches!

The Arrival....

...of the MOST prestigious tennis tournament on earth is here. The end of June always brings with it the beginning of the best two weeks, fortnight if you're a Brit, in tennis. Nowhere is the simple elegance and beauty of Wimbledon matched. Its carefully and meticulously manicured green lawns splashed with dark purples for contrast, players dressed in all white symbolizing the purity of these hallowed grounds, and the spectators queueing just to enter the majestic gates of The All England Lawn and Tennis Club.

Each Grand Slam has its thing: The Open has NYC with its celebs, tennis under the lights, and over-the-top presentation; The Australian has the exuberant Aussie tennis fans, flowing beer that adds to their exuberance and the Southern Summer Sun; The French has The City of Lights and Love - Paris, moody yet "educated" French spectators and who can forget the Terra Battue. But none of these Slams comes close to the honor bestowed upon THE CHAMPIONSHIPS, WIMBLEDON. Someday in the near future I hope to have the fortune to experience this event in person.
This years Championships start as they so often do, with rain in the forecast for the next couple days. This inevitably means blotchy TV coverage and lots of reruns from Wimbledons old. There are many positives that can come from this year's fortnight. My fav tennis family, The Williamses, are looking to make a big showing. Both sister have entered the tournament hungry for another slam to add to their singles trophy case, would be #3 for lil' sis, #4 for big. This morning Papa Williams predicted Venus to win the whole thing, which has me excited. Even more exciting is the possibility of an all Williams final for the first time in several years. ::Fingers Crossed!!!:: However should one, or both sister, make unfortunate early exits from The AELTC in singles, they are trying to shake things up with a wildcard entry to the Women's Doubles draw. This bodes well for both sisters, cause back in the day they had so much fun playing together and that is what tennis is truly about, the enjoyment of the sport.

Other hopes for the draw:

1. Justine and Sharapova lose early and BIG. This is a big, hope though cause both of these ugly b*#%hes play well on grass. Justine is a lying manipulative B and Sharapova is an overhyped B, for those reasons alone they both deserve to loose, but if you want more justification I am more than willing to dish it up for you. HAHAHAHA

2. Federer wins another. I know I like fresh blood in the men's game, but you gotta love this guy on grass. It would be nice if we could see him against someone like Djokovic or Gasquet in the final to mix things up, but he's gotta win the gold cup. I would have it no other way.

3. Lots of good play. I want to see some excellent displays of athleticism and shot making. You have to be a different creature on the grass, rewarded are those who serve well, come to net often and can execute a good clean slice and drop shot. Care must be taken when playing with little margin for error around the net, the tape is tight here and will reject balls that hit it with no mercy.

Par for the course, not much will be achieved late at night or early in the week during Grand Slam coverage. Things will just have to wait till after the Final Sunday, to be completed or processed. Stay tuned for more coverage.

Why can "too much"....

...seem to be "not enough"? The dog days of summer are here and that means gathering some summer sun to add some new character to the high yellow skin I was born with. My skin is most often kissed by the sun through the outdoor activities of which I partake as often as possible, however I am not above admitting I occasionally will sit out with that sole intent in mind.

For an uneventful weekend, my days seemed rather filled. There's nothin like sitting at home doing nothing with your roommate gone to make a blasé weekend seem great. Friday was an absolutely splendiferous evening and I was able to get in some great tennis drill work. As the evening waned I found myself wanting a cold beer to enjoy while I did some people watching. Neither happened and I found my Friday ending as so many have in recent months, me regretting registering for a marathon.

Despite my best efforts to be slothful on a Saturday morning, mother nature had other plans. So I arose at 8am after an hour of restlessness, delaying what I knew to be inevitable. "Since I can't sleep, might as well run." Damn my boundless energy! I am no fool however, a week of not running I knew I wasn't going to get out and run the 14 miles on my training schedule, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't at least attempt to push myself physically. 5.03miles and 40mins later I called it quits. Stretching and some crunches ensued of course, gotta cool down correctly.

The rest of Saturday followed quite lazily, some of the aforementioned sitting out to catch some rays and catch up on some Tennis Magazine reading that I am behind on. The tennis match that I had scheduled got canceled due to an emergency, but I didn't find that out till I got there and came home. It worked for the best anyway cause Banneker was the location of the Caribbean Fest so we couldn't have played anyway. Headed up to Tacoma Park to rid myself of the unreleased tennis angst that had built within my body as a result of my canceled match. Hit on the wall for awhile till someone came along that I could hit with. Love Takoma Park for that reason. There is ALWAYS someone lookin to hit. Since I was up that way I had to of course visit the family and absorb whatever food wasn't nailed down. Tried to stay until my brother got home from work to see work of Ms. Hoover, but he takes too dag on long and I wanted to watch a movie before the night was over. Watched "Little Children" good movie, but definitely deserving of its "R" rating.

Sunday involved another early rise, I guess i'll sleep in late when I die, and off I was to get more drill work in at Turkey Thicket. This was great work, 2 hours worth and I wanted more. Once again since I was uptown I scurried over to my parents house with fam time and food on the mind. Hot homemade breakfast, yum yum yum! The afternoon at the apartment was filled with "Heroes". I missed the last 5 episodes of the season so I had some catching up to do. Not a great ending to the first season, but acceptable I guess; I will tune in next season to see how things turn out. The Princess insync with a headache. Coincidence? Who knows. Another movie tonight and WIMBLEDON in the morning. But more on that later, this has been more than enough info to absorb in one sitting. Adios y Buenos Dias mi amigos.

The Beautiful Struggle...

...is often times anything but. Not to detract from Mr. Kweli, but the beauty in life's struggles tends to elude me quite often. Maybe its cause I am looking to narrowly, you can not be inspired by Picasso from 12". I guess I shouldnt be singing the blues when my struggles are mostly financial and not nearly as bad as some; I have good health, great friends and a loving family, who could ask for a better support network? I know within me lies the fortitude to make it through what is hopefully just a blip in my lifline. Started hunting for a second job, both cause I need it and I want it. It will suck having to forgoe some of my tennis freedoms for a job, but what is life without some sacrafice. Fear not good people, I have done what was best for me and in the long run all thigs will work out just right. God has a plan for me, I just need to work on learning how to speak his language. Adios y Buenos Noches!

What is the price...

..of emotional freedom? I know its wrong to think in this manner, but I fled the house I called home for a second time. I ran from the stress and heartache that lives within those walls to struggle on my own, only to be entrapped reapeatedly by those whom I love that are bound to that house. Within its walls lives self hatred, indifference, confusion, anger, and pity. Love does come visit often, but it never stays long. The other tennants don't know how to live with it too well. I pray that my family will someday make more room for love in that house, but until then, I like love can only come to visit. Deliver them Lord! There are more things to be placed on this paper, but even I know you dont wash your dirty laundry in public, nor place your burdens squarely on others shoulders. I'll make it world, back when loved stayed longer I learned how to be strong.

What I thirst for...

is someone I can "love". (Some of this information might be TMI for some peeps out there, but its bottled in me and I hate bottled thoughts, they stress me, so read at ur own discretion. The language is PG though.)
Someone who does not seek material items as displays of affection, who will understand that I am struggling and can't afford to buy dinner for me let alone both of us and that doesn't mean I dont want to do it. Instead she is happy with me throwing down in the kitchen for us.
Someone who is willing to just lay in my arms before we screw like rabbits, afterwards I will prolly be too hot for a good 5 mins, once we cool off I am game again. Someone to kiss who loves to kiss as much as I do (Yes I have a weakness for kissing anywhere and everywhere.)
These needs are amplified by the fact I have low self-confidence around women I dont know and am largely uncomfortable sparking random conversation that could lead anywhere. And where do you go to meet a great intelligent woman that likes both a bar and a bookstore for fun. Who has a great sense of humor cause I love to make people laugh and enjoy a good belly ache of my own as often as possible, and not the kind brought on by food poisonin or gas. She likes my friends and introduces me to hers. Shes interested in me and what I am doin but doesnt work for the CIA. Loves music and tolerates/enjoys that I sing passionately,albeit off-key, most of the time. Understands that crying, even at a Disney movie doesnt make me less of a man. I dont care what color she is, but I am more attracted to women of color. Where is MY Serena, Beyonce, Alicia or Lucy? They are unique and so will be the girl who makes me happy. Are you out there?

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE...

...And not a drop to drink.

We all know the saying and its ability to be connected to an endless number of circumstances, but I cannot think of the last time I was truly in a situation fitting of this phrase. So often it is associated with a want of our own, something superficial and materialistic due largely in part to our modern capitalist society. The recent struggles of several friends has inspired the boredom ponderance I know delve somewhat deeply and quite aimlessly. Don't get me wrong, there is direction to thoughts, the direction as you will come to find is much like that of a blind beast, sometimes very straight forward flowing and graceful but often spazstic and incongruent. What is it likely to truly be surrounded by "water" and not be able to sip of its cool quenching body. It is enough to drive a person mad. This is further exacerbated when others within the pool drink so freely, not even noticing the struggles of those around them. Surely now some of you see the correlation of this in your own life. Basic needs such as security, food, and social acceptance are so ravenously sought after by the "have-nots", while the "haves" wouldn't know it even if they were. I am no better than any "have" in society; I drink freely while so many around me cannot sip. I told you this would be spazstic, for I no longer what deep meaning I was striving for. I now feel the inspiration for another topic (ADD kicked in) so peace for the next three minutes.

Living La Vida...

...Office Space. Today I got a new chair and celebrated. No, I didnt mistype that. I truly celebrated. Last week Monday I was given a file cabinet with folders because "I would need this for my records." This evening I am going to happy hours and most likely gonna talk about the people we work with that are not there. God get me out of this cubicle/pod.

Beware: the rest of this entry will be full of my usual random thoughts. If you are incapable of following an illogical thought process please stop reading now!

I had fun on Facebook today, while bored and unoccupied at work, with a couple friends. There is nothing like singing an entire song. Through a social networking site. For all to see. And ponder your sanity!

I dont know how much longer I can hold out on getting a tattoo. I have ideas for at least 4.

ADD's kicked, movin on for now. Adios y Buenos Tardes!

Just for Your Reference

The Princess and the Pea
by Hans Christian Andersen
Illustrated by Edmund Dulac

There was once a prince, and he wanted a princess, but then she must be a real Princess. He travelled right around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly.

One evening there was a terrible storm; it thundered and lightninged and the rain poured down in torrents; indeed it was a fearful night.

In the middle of the storm somebody knocked at the town gate, and the old King himself sent to open it.

It was a princess who stood outside, but she was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out at the heel, but she said that she was a real princess.

'Well we shall soon see if that is true,' thought the old Queen, but she said nothing. She went into the bedroom, took all the bed clothes off and laid a pea on the bedstead: then she took twenty mattresses and piled them on top of the pea, and then twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. This was where the princess was to sleep that night. In the morning they asked her how she slept.

'Oh terribly bad!' said the princess. 'I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!'

They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.

So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess, and the pea was put into the Museum, where it may still be seen if no one has stolen it.

Now this is a true story.

Busy

as a bee on speed tryin to feed that fat bitch in the hive, or something like that. HAHAHAHA. I need help. I arose this morning 10 mins before my alarm went off at 0620. Why on earth would I set my alarm to arise so early?... I had ALOT to do today.

The first task at hand was to get up to the Grandparents and meet my mom for my 11 mile run. Thats marathon training fore you. Started at 0745 finished 1'35" later. Not half bad, while my mother commented that it looked like I just got finished running through a pool when I was done, I felt good and the knee that had been nagging me didnt. Discovered I am down to a discouraging 155lbs. Dont even ask why its discouraging or my psycho battle and mini obsession with weight.

Next task at hand, was helping a friend move from the dreads of Alexandria into our beautiful city, Colombia Heights to be percise. He was much more trusting of people than I am. Left the back of the truck open and unspuervised while we went inside to unload stuff, and a nice iPod and stand out front. Even I was tempted to jack that shit.. HAHA, just kidding incase your reading this Brian..

Third and final task of the day was to visit the family. Just the immediates, no Lipscomb gathering. Jerked/Curry Chicken was on the menu, annd I dont pass up opportunity for free food. Talked with the mom about the saga with Princess Peapod and other things. Helped the dad grill the food. Ate like a horse. Crashed like a 2 years old. Woke up and ate some more. I am gonna be a fat ass someday. (see previous reference to weight obssesion)

Came home to a slightly cleaner apt, though the Princess had not removed all traces of herself from the ktichen yet. Maybe by the end of the weekend. I forsee a trip to the bookstore tomorrow. Adios y Buenos Noche!

My Life...

with Princess PeaPod: 2 Years Is MORE than Enough

Though some of you may grow tired of reading or hearing about this, it will be the main topic of this journal (TRUST) for the next two years. Yes it is unfourtunate and yes I had been forewarned, but "time dont go back, it go forward."

Some of you know for sure who Princess Peapod is; others will guess. By the end of this, the first entry in my dramedy, you will know unless you are a midly retarded monkey (sorry Dante if your reading this, I still love.) Often times there will be so many thoughts running through my head that my entries will be disjointed and random thought. It will be as if I were suffering from ADD, and I apologize in advance for this. As my thoughts gather and clear and the anger that I am inevitable feeling subsides I will take the time to edit and revise my entries for clarity and sense, but part of the purity of this story will come from the fact it was written on pure emotion. Please enjoy.

After work I had plans to play tennis with a friend and then planned to visit mi abuelos y mi padres. As usual tennis was great and so was visiting the family. As usual I got free food out of the deal and put off my dad swearing I dont love them one more day (another story in itself). After watchin some TV and slammin a couple hot dogs I decided it was time to return to my abode. Great evening right. Well it was until I walked up the stairs and into my kitchen. La cocina litterally read "PRINCESS PEAPOD WAS HERE!"

Now I am no cleaning nazi, but let me lay the scene out for you. The rice cooker I purchased had been used to cook the rice and bullion I had bought. The rice laddel was put back in its holder incorrectly and it was covered in gunky bullion chicken rice. The cooker was off, but half full of uneaten rice. The tea cup that was used LAST night was still sitting on the coutner top dirty.

And this was just on my intial survey. It gets worst. Of course at this point I am angry and annoyed but it is something I can deal with, cause I know this is how Princess Peapod is. The following discoveries are what pushed me over the edge and have led to this entry.

While refilling the water bottles I had used for tennis I noticed a dirty fork in the sink with blue on it. I knew immediately what it had come from. Wanting only to confirm what I already new to be true I turned off the water and walked over to the fridge. Ms. Peapod had decided to have at the piece of cake I had brought home from work. Yes the slice was fucking huge, but it was MY fucking huge slice and I intended to enjoy every last bit of it tonight when I got home. Ms. Peapod had dug into the cake, and I assume upon discovering its deliciousness ate the extra cake that was on the side of the plate. Now that I am pissed cause she has eatin my damn cake, I also notice she has drank a good portion of my damn orange juice. O JESUS DELIVER ME! MY FUCKING CAKE!!!!

All this shit prolly wouldnt be so bad if she brought some damn good food into the house that I could eat. But Princesses dont cook; they eat out, order delivery, or microwave, mooching off whatever cooks they can in the interim.

Once again I am on the verge of peeing on her toothbrush, but restraint is the sign of a good wise man, I refuse to be ignorant. Of course this means I must now have another talk about why I dont appreciate what was done. Will it sink in? Unlikely, but then what fodder would I have to fill this journal.

Till next time, Adios y Buenos Noche!