Aussie, Aussie, Aussie....

Oy, Oy, Oy!


As a tennis fan these are the events that you look forward to. Being there to see it in person, but the next best thing is catching it live on TV for sure. Labeled as the "most fun" Slam, the Aussie Open starts tomorrow night locally (Monday morning in Australia) and it could be one of the best slams in a long time.

As each Slam comes around I like to express my hopeful out comes; they aren't predictions cause they often err on the side of long shots, but thats the beauty of being a fan and doing this for fun.

Women:
The usual suspects of the last year are back and looking strong --- The Williamses: The Diva and The Godess ( I dont think it should be hard to discern which is which), The Serbian Vics, The Little Bitch That Could (Henin), and The Shrieking "Princess" (Sharapova).
A potential interesting matche would be the second rounder between TSP and former Australian Open winner Lindsay Davenport (The Comeback Mom). Agnes Savay has great game and could create problems with the legion of young players emerging from eastern Europe. I think Mauresmo had her moment of superiority and will fade from here, and Kutzy will just under perform as usual.

I would love to see an all Williams Final, and thanks to some decent play last year their rankings would allow for it.

Men:
A little more stable than the women's draw, serious male contenders are few and far between --
The Master/FedEx, The Spanish OCD Bull, the Djoker and maybe Roddick. However there are a few youngin hoverin right below these guys who could finaly show us what they got.

I think this is Djokic's tournament to lose but Fed is going to put a fight on his way to eternal greatness.

What will transpire? Not Sure, but believe that the next two weeks I will be GLUED to the television in my free time.

A Life Affirmation

Inspiration can come in different forms; tonight it comes via another blogger. Her words

A Post Like No Other?!?!

Unlikely, I am sure. Today the media and bloggers alike will be all abuzz with the news from last nights Iowa Caucuses. Coming as a shock to many, Barack Obama took Iowa by storm and blew his competition out of the water. After years of social strife and interracial unease, is the country ready for this change?

My celebratoy dance (its the Carlton) might be a tad bit preemptive due to the forthcoming primaries in other states and how quickly things can change in politics, but I don't care. Tonight history was changed in a positive way. Everyone says we should "look pass the color of [the] skin, but instead at the content of [the] character", but this is America and I know the truth. That is why tonight I dance; a black man is one real step closer to a nomination for presidency. I am so excited I can barely contain myself.

Blog Merger Creates Synergys

To understand everything that is taking place in my head you might have to go around in circles before arriving at a final destination.

Today after much frustration I have decided to streamline the dissemination, of my thoughts, to the masses. Up till this point I was completing and monitoring two different blogs. Why do I have two blogs you ask? Well that is a long story in and of itself that made me think about something I learned in college....

I can clearly remember sitting in my Marketing 340 class being distracted by Jorge and what other "shiny objects" crossed my path, when we discussed diffusion. The topic was interesting so I decided to pay attention to what was taking place. After 10 minutes discussing the various stages, I came to a self-realization; as a consumer and in life I was a member of the 'early majority'. Nothing life-altering or earth shattering, but at least there was a name for people like me. I hated thinking of myself as a 'follower' of anyone else, but who was I kidding; I lead alot subtler than most, and was damn fine with that.

....anyway getting back on track to the story of two blogs. I started my primary blog because my best friend Monkey had one herself and suggested it as a good means to self-medicate while far away from my family; that was a little over 2 years ago. It rarely served its purpose till a few months later when life threw some curveballs at me and I needed some place to talk about it and save for future reflection. I never loved the site but it served its purpose and quite a few friends had it so it was easy to keep up with the goings on.
This blog was started for similar reasons. After graduation I moved back to DC and made some new friends that I could play tennis and hang out with on a regular basis. C.Heights, one of the newly acquired friends, had alot on his mind and was frustrated with aspects of his life so I passed my friend Monkey's advice on to him, "blog about it". He chose this site because of its affiliation with all that is Google and I created an account to keep up. While I was at it I couldn't resist the temptation to have another blog. And that is how one blog grew to two.

Thanks to my frustrations with my other blog I have decided to cut ties with it for now and attempt to merge the two. I will try to connect the two but I dont know how seamless the integration will be. The synergy created by the merger will benifit all parties involved.

Feel free to look at the posts below and see the evolution that took place. I will decide how best to integrate the odl stuff from the other blog. Let me know what you think.

Can you sit still for one second Dammit!?!?

I know this aint breaking news to no one unless you dont know me, but I have a hyperactivity issue. I know it aint ADD or ADHD or any other acronym-ed "disorder", I just got the "jitters". If I put serious effort into it I can be a somewhat normal (you cant erase 23 years of nature and nurture with out some serious medicine, therapy, torture or combination of the three so yall are stuck with me till then) well adjusted 23 year old, but alot of the time I can come off as a smart 16 year old on speed. I know that is a kind of blessing because it helps to off-set my ravenous appetite (Lord, please help me when my metabolism slows down. I dont want to be a 300 Lb. man like my father) and makes me alot more interesting to hang out with, but damn I know it gets annoying sometimes even to me.

How many blogs do I start with the desire to discuss one thing, only to be inspired to write something else half way through? Lets just say there is a good thing there is a private feature on xanga. This year I resolve to grow a little more and try to "slow the fuck down" as my father would say. If only I could clear the clutter in my head, I might start making sense more often.

O well its kicked in again and I am tired of this post. On to other shiny objects

Another Day in the Life....

...another year gone by. What would be a year's end without a little reflection? I wish I had the ability to reflect comparatively from year to year in my life, but large swaths of time elude me. Despite this I can say with confidence that 2007 has to have been in the Top 5 of greatest years of my life; this is largely attributed to how much growth I believe occurred during the year. I dont want this to get boring so you get '07 in a nutshell:

The year started with a job hunt and some temp work, it ended with me landing a new job and holdin down 3 gigs to get by and get the things I need/want. I ran the marathon like I said I would even if I didnt do it faster than Oprah. I moved closer towards my goal of moving to Spain in 2010 by improving my Spanish and acquiring my passport. I threw down in the kitchen too, mastered a meatloaf and a Cheescake.

I dont think I started out the year wanting to meet new people but I definitely made some life long friends and worked on relationships that I hope to have forever. It wouldnt be friendship without some trials and tribulations but the real ones are there in the end and I think I did a damn good job of picking them.

Whats in store for 2008? I am not sure, but I am hoping to maintain the balance in my life I have had over the past year. I will resolve to go out and eat more often, I am content to eat at home but there is so much I can get out hanging with friends and enjoying new culinary experiences. I am going to work on being less self-centered and openly opinionated so that I might be a better more supportive friend. Other goals include working on upping my tennis game, maybe enter a tournament by the years end.

I will continue the struggle to further separate myself from my parents financially so that I can ignore them when I want to which as it turns out is pretty often. Love em to death, but I need my space. Today my mom threatened to disown me cause she hadnt seen me. I saw her last night and everyday for 9 days before that. And they wonder why I am not well adjusted.

I dont need a road map for the year, I am just happy to be taking the trip.

A Positive Perspective on the Continous Debate

There are a few topics that you can count on being in the forefront of news these days, war in Iraq, national health care, and of course immigration. The last topic tends to garner the widest range of opinions and generates the most heated debates. I understand why its such a heated debate, its hard to peg down what is the best option for this issue. Its always interesting to see where people stand on the spectrum and I was excited to see that there was a feature opinion in this weekend's Washington Post. The writer acknowledges both sides of the debate, makes a personal connection to this issue and then offers a couple solid ideas on how to fix the "problem". They are not the perfect solution, but they are starting points and that is better then the current position we are in.

I will refrain from exerting my own points opinions for a later date, so that you too can read the article with less tainted eyes (outside of your own opinion). I want to know how you feel after reading it, no judgments will be cast, but a discussion will be started. We are the future and it is our obligation to fix this "problem".

So this is how they spend tax dollars...

This week I started a new job with the General Services Administration, Office of the Inspector General as a Management Analyst and now I know why the govt takes so much damn money out of my check every pay period. I have an all expense paid trip for a a week of orientation and training in Annapolis at the Marriott with a room to myself. I know its not exatly a $600 toilet seat but I got some number flyin through my head. Now imagine that on a state and federal government wide level.

Yeash.

The job is promising and that is exciting. I feel bad leaving my co-workers in the hell hole I escaped from, but we cant all be Harriett Tubman. I am doin my best impression though by staying on with the company part time so I dont make their jobs any worst than they already are. My hope is that it doesnt become overwhelming and that I can pay off some bills in the process: High interest credit cards first, and then moving on to the student loans....Thanks for the deliverance.

::UPDATE:::The pics of the room are below. The room was great. Wouldnt you know that the weather would get nice the day we leave. Cruel, cruel world!

Another one bites the dust...

Almost a full year has passed since I graduated from college and moved into the world of working. At the time it was very exciting and terrifying all the same. The key was to find a job that was related to the experience and knowledge that I had gained and be useful. Coworkers would be great, as would paid bills, but the focus was becoming a positive contributor to the workforce and the US GNP.

I started my first "real" job in April after spending a little time relaxing, and a couple months temping. DSA Inc. A information technologies company that contracted for the federal government. My duties as a "travel coordinator" would be to facilitate the extradition of illegal, and mostly dangerous, aliens. The job seemed interesting, the hours were flex, the work simple, and the people okay. This was going to be a great experience.

Time passed and the bitter taste in the mouths of most of the employees about increased responsibilities but not increased compensation would wear. The "happy-go-lucky" person that many of you knew and loved would disappear for stints, in his place was a very embittered cynical asshole. Through it all I did my job, cause thats how I was raised. And if I may say so, I did a damn good job. Diligence and hardwork is rewarded and it is with that belief I carried on each day.

My exit came up quicker than I had originally anticipated, but it is accepted all the same. I will be escaping the confines of contract hell and moving to the green pastures of fed. gov. Since I have known my entire demeanor at work changed. I wish I could start an underground railroad of my own and get the others out, but I will tread lightly till I know what the deal is.

News did break that I will be working part time, so I might be getting less sleep in the coming months but at least those bills will keep getting paid. A couple nights of celebrating were appreciated. Thursday night's Holiday Party with the cous, and last night I drank for 12 hours and didn't throw up or end up spooning a shower curtain. Last night's discoveries:I am uncomfortable being a token in a bar full of drunk people ( No Lucky Bar for me) There is someone that walks faster than meI can moderate myself and have a great time in the process.

The night didn't end on the note I had hoped but "you win some, you lose some" but you keep fight cause dying is not an option.

An Ode to My Friends

With my newly reduced workload in the waning days of my job, I had time to be inspired to express to my good friends out there how I feel about our relationship. Yall know who you are, and though I didn't say it during our "Day of Thanks", please know that I am thankful everyday for your presence in my life....

Yesterday you just wanted to talk with me
But I was “busy” and you know how my life can be
So then you said “just hit me up later on”
“Nothing really important, we can catch up when you’re done”

So now you got me wondering if something was goin on
And I become consumed with how bad of a friend I can be
But then again you titan’t really sound bad/mad/sad
Could’fe been bored and just needed some time pass

Though my whole world won’t stop for you
Cause you’re my friend I'll do all that I can do
And I appreciate how you respect my ways
But every now and then I’ll need you to put me in my place

If there’s anything that you want, you need
Don’t be afraid to ask cause you’re my friend
I will always have your back through times thick and thin
I am glad to have you as a friend

The Love "Bug"

We are 23 year old young professionals with college educations; we are largely independent, socially nimble, and professionally driven. At what point did we become romantically consumed? It is like the frickin plague around here. There was a time when so many of us were content with our romantic independence, now everyone is "looking for love". I have nothing against having someone to share time with or shower emotions upon, but is it a switch that clicks on around age 23? Or is it now that we have started completing many of the other things dictated as normal by society, we now feel the need to move on to the next logical goal, finding a partner? At 23 is our biological clock ticking that much louder, or is our brain picking up on pheromone that previously went unnoticed? Will we spend the rest of our 20's looking for love, or is this "bug" beatable?

Sporting Epiphany

This evening I realized that I didn't have to focus this blog so narrowly. There are so many more things that can be covered in the space than my tennis experience. I can cover my second love running, and why not all things sports related while I am at it. I know in the future it would be cool to reflect on my athletic experience.

Firstly, though in the days following my running of the 32nd Annual Marine Corps Marathon I was grossly unsatisfied with my accomplishment, I have now accepted the event for what it really was: a monumental undertaking that I completed. From New Years Resolution to Registration in May, Training all summer, and the Running on Halloween weekend. I made a promise to myself and I followed through.

As a competitive person it sucks to take more time than Oprah to complete a marathon, but in the grand scheme of things who gives a shit? This was for me, I did this so that I could prove to myself it could be done, that I could put my mind to something and see it through. This wasnt the Clarinet in 7th grade, or CYO Basketball in the 8th. This was running in the prime of my physical ability and I could do this.

I beat myself up a little after the race and swore that I would do it again, only next time I would do it better. This despite my initial promise to myself I would only subject my body to this grueling task once. I knew my body needed a break from most physical activity to fully recuperate.

Last week I jumped back on the horse because running isnt just what I do to stay fit, its what I enjoy when the world starts to weigh on me. I know the escape is temporary, but its also euphoric. I am not one of those people who clears their minds while they run either; I process. Constantly. I take in my surrounding, the people, places and things I pass. Events of my past and future. The big picture, grand scheme of things, meaning of life. It all passes through my head. While at the same time keeping pace with "4 My People" by Missy Elliott.

The only downside to running is that it is hard on my genetically predisposed to damage knees. The constant pounding of my foot to the ground puts unnecessary amounts of pressure on my knee. Currently my left one is giving me some problems. I am working with my stride some to see if that can help to lessen the pain, but ultimately I think I will need to see a doctor, maybe even start wearing a knee brace for support. Step one will be to get a new pair a shoes and then to keep on running.

Thank God for my health.

Just Remember to Breath

Saturday at 330pm and I am starting to let some of my thoughts overwhelm me. These arent thoughts of life or death, financial stability or morally bearing; no these are mostly trivial issues that I am instead focusing on. A classic case of "making a mountain out of a mole hill." Whenever this feeling overcomes me I like to turn to music for solace.

A favorite song that helps in times like this is Singing My Song performed by Christina Aguilera. I know this is not the most masculine song, but I can accept that because it is uplifting and calms me down. I know I have quoted the song wrong but when I first heard it seemed so true, when everything in life gets you down "just remember to breath". In the end for the grace of God things will work themselves out.

I know I have divulged this to some if not all, but sometimes I feel the need to cry, just cause. Bambi's mom getting shot usually works for me, but occasionaly triumphs of the human spirit do it as well. I feel one of those moments coming on so I am gonna take some "me" time and let it out. I dont have much energy or motivation today and I am gonna enjoy being alone for the moment. Its just a mood, I am ok, dont worry about me and dont feel bad. Equate it to how some people have to smoke a cigarette after a bad day, even though they are not smokers.

Fix Me

Lately I have been doing a lot more thinking than I had in previous months. (I think I might be finally coming out of my "I am not in college and therefore no longer need to ponder" phase, which is kinda refreshing.) Par for the course, my entire world influences what I am pondering at the moment; you know, you typical cause and effect rule. Today's thoughts have been consumed with me as a person.

I like to believe that I am a fairly reflective person, I try to step back from time to time and look at the "man in the mirror", just so I can see what other people do. I wouldn't want to walk around my entire life with my head up my ass. Besides, I feel, that only through self analysis and reflection am I truly able to be the best person I can be.

There are certain things that I know to be true about myself that I have come to accept and even appreciate to some degree; there are other things that I have worked diligently to change or have changed as part of my natural growth. For instance, I know that I was ANNOYING AS HELL when I was younger, it wasn't a conscious decision to be annoying and there was no epiphany about the whole thing, but as I got older I realized I had annoying personality. (Everybody I know telling me so might have been a clue too.) With age I made conscious efforts to be less annoying, temper myself, "act civilized", but as I aged I also know that maturity came as a natural part of my growth. Please do not get me wrong, I know there are times to this day when I am still ANNOYING AS HELL, but I would like to think I have changed for the good.

The problem I have with my self reflection/analysis is I don't know when to stop. Where do you draw the line at qualities to keep and ones to change. Is it possible to be take a real look and not hate yourself in the end. Inevitably there is always someone who doesn't like some part of you, mind, body or soul, whose advice and direction do you take. This is where my relationship waters get murky. I don't think I trust people and I keep distance between myself and friends. There is not one person on this earth that I feel 100% comfortable being myself around. I even keep me from me.

I think this winter I am going to spend alot of time rebuilding me. This isn't like one of those remodels you see on HGTV where they gut the whole house. I liken it to an episode of "What Not to Wear" on one of those women's channels; I am getting rid of all the shit in my "wardrobe" that isn't flattering, keep the pieces that are good for me, and try to add something new and appropriate for who I want to be. Not who I want to portray, who I actually want to be. In reality there are far too many things about myself that I would like to see changed, so I am gonna be reasonable about it; mostly cause things like stopping driving and becoming a vegetarian don't seem practical to me.

Yes this reflection always saddens me to some degree, and end up being a tad dramatic about the state of things, but I will be ok. Dr. Xanga is gonna help me through this and I will be better because of it. Don't worry peeps, this isn't a sex change operation, just a touch up here and there.

MY PASSPORT to Freedom...

Over the Thanksgving weekend I got my US Passport. This is great; I can now travel anywhere in the world at a moments notice and I just might take myself up on that offer. I would love to use it before next May, when I plan on road tripping to Canada, but due to a lack of leave and funds, that might not be possible. This is so exciting! I dont know what else to say but....YAAAAAAAAY! I really want to get on a plane and go international, mught have to check the rates and see what is out there. so many thoughts. yeash

The Power of the P-U-P-P-Y...

...or Puppy Love. Whichever you want to call it, doesnt matter to me cause, the result is the same. I dont know what it is about "man's best friend" but I cant get enough of them. I knew that having a dog is something that would be rewarding and filling in my life, but I also knew that as a "young professional" with limited funds and limited free time it wouldnt be fair to either one of us to right now. Even more so than a child, owning a puppy is a real commitment cause at no point in there life are they able to provide care for themselves; this is a bond that is forged from adoption/life to death. The dog walking gig while time consuming is fufilling and it pays (rather well during holidays). These are just some of the pooches I have walked.








They range from caffinee crazed psychos to geriatric furballs, and I love them all. I think a dog will be good when I move to Spain cause I dont think that I am adventerous enough to just go out and meet people. Plus I can practice my Spanish with it.

As I Am...

Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again video (Common)
Uploaded by heyrox

This will be an evolving posts as I profess my love for the album and Alicia Keys as an artist over the remainder of the day. The video above is for the latest single and I know why DD likes the song; the music and the lyrics are on point and in a time of over produced and edited sounds the rawness I realieving. No her voice isn't perfect, but if MJB can make a ton of albums screaming her heart away, so can Ms. Keys. The video is a visual treat, especially since Ms. Keys is in it.

For now I think I will spend the rest of today at work watching this on some type of loop. Look for the updates tonight if you peep this early in the day.

UPDATE:

I know this is later than I had originally planned but I have finally found the time to continue gushing about the newest auditory pleasure. As I Am. The album is mostly a great listen. As I stated above, I know that the vocals are stretched in places, but that is what makes it beautiful; she is not screaming or hollaring, she is belting from deep within the emotions that she has. As is the American way I have tried my best to rank the songs in order of my preference
Where Do We Go From Here
I Need You
Lesson Learned
Wreckless Love
Like You'll Never See Me Again
No One
The Thing About Love
Go Ahead
Superwoman
Sure Looks Good To Me
Prelude to a Kiss
Teenage Love Affair
Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise)
...The first five are really a toss up on any given day depending on my mood. Props to you Ms. Keys, you have a fan in me, even if you arent single and writing on the floor half naked simulating sex for my visual pleasure. This album makes me so happy to listen to I cant even formulate supporting evidence for my statement; I dont care what other people think of it or me for liking it. I am not stopping my auditory love affair for anyone! (I will refrain from typing the lyrics to the track from the album that would so aptly fit right here)

who am I kidding

People keep talking, they can say what they like...
No one can get in the way of what I am feeling...
No one can get in the way of what I feel for you....

Adventures in Baking...

Today is the day of all days when it comes to feasting and family in the US. The average US citizen will consume more calories in one sitting today than is needed for survival over three days. Though this is not healthy, I am not gonna do anything to stop it, I love the food. Especially the leftovers.

Doing my part to contribute to todays gluttony, I baked both the sweet potatoes and a Cheesecake. Though the sweet potatoes are fairly simple, but being that my name isnt Betty Crocker I know how to make things difficult. I spent way to long cleaning and pealing the damn things, and then I had to boil them so I could mash and later bake them. After all that freaking effort, not to mention the mountains of cinammon & brown sugar, rivers of maple syrup, butter, eggs, & orange juice, my dad had the nerve to tell me that they werent sweet enough. He has issues, and thanks to him I have a complex.

On to the cheesecake. There was a time when I couldnt bake a dessert to save my life but that time has come and gone. I can throw down on some cheesecake. Now if only i could the frickin crust right. Too thick, cooked too long, the thing just wont cooperate. But the inside turnded out great, and there was enough sugar in it to place a diabetic into a permanent coma. Next time I will get it as close to perfect as possible.

The Princess had her own adventure in baking for the feast. Mac'n Cheese. Only problem was she forgot the cheese part. I couldve choked on how dry that dish was, which is a shame since I was looking forward to leftovers. I might have to do some doctoring of my own.

Thats all for now. The food was great, the fam was too. Looking forward to the day off. HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

No Oops About It....

...She did it again. And no I am not talkin about that over publicized, under medicated and apeshit crzy Britney Spears; I am talking about Ms. Keys and her new album. SO GREAT. Not only is the music great, but I am enjoying the new look as well. I am not gonna hate on anyone for wanting to be sexier, especially not someone as hot as her. But back to the album...the music is great. I am so glad there are artist out there who still write their own lyrics and music. I dont what inspired the music but damn I want some Wreckless Love.

Trainning before Gaming

The off-season (winter) for amateurs is not much different than it is for pros. The colder weather and shorter days in the northern hemisphere mean less suitable time to do the thing we love...play tennis.
The focus of my training will be on my skill sets and overall athletic abilities. I will start in the same place the tennis game does, with the serve. My dad is always telling me that you need to have a good serve cause it is the one point you have complete control over and you want it to help you get some cheap points from time to time. Taking advice and pointers from him can be very difficult though; he like his father (and I like him) has a tendency to be overbearing at times. Still I try to listen what he says, and combine that with what I see the pros doing and what I have read and use it to my own benefit. Over the past couple weeks that I have been working on it I have seen positive results; my serve has improved from the embarrassing to bearable, but I am not stopping there. I don't want to push it to hard, but if I can I would like to add variety to it rather than just getting it in.
Along with the serve I am going to work on a shot that I would really like to have as part of my arsenal, for both offensive and defensive reasons, the slice. Coming in both backhand and forehand varieties, the slice is a great way to mix things up, change the pace of a rally, get your opponent out of position or get a ball that was largely out of reach. The forehand slice is rarely used in the game as anything other than defensive because it is an awkward shot, but the backhand slice when used correctly is a thing of beauty. Because unlike the serve I need someone else to practice this shot, I dont think that I will be improving on it as much this winter.
Lastly I would also like to work on my volleying. Being able to get to the net and finish a point of is important. What good is getting your opponent out of position if you stay back and give them time to recover. As well it is an essential part of the doubles game which I enjoy. Work on not swinging and punch the ball and all will be well.
There is alot to work on but I think it is doable. I hope the weather stays nice so I can keep playing outdoors cause I cant afford to play indoors. The spring season should be fun. More challenging and better tennis in the future.

I was at a party last night?...

Drunk is probably an insufficient term for what I was last night. This of course is a guess cause other than the one photo I have seen of me in my drunken stupor, I have little recollection of what happened last night post 2130 HRS. I know that drinking to this point is bad for me, but God it felt good to just do a little unwinding. After leaving work early, grabbin cash some McDs and Liquor the partying began. Start time 1630 HRS and I was pretty drunk by the time we left for the party at 2030 HRS. What a night and it was and in the end I didnt die, I didnt lose anything, I didnt spend more money that I wanted and I am sure I had fun and I couldnt ask for more. I do think I will lay off the hard liquor for a while and stick to beer. No more partying for me for the foreseeable future thanks to work, but that might be a good thing cause right now the sight of liquor could induce vomiting. Might as well try to enjoy the rest of the weekend....

Last night was great...

...until the moment after.

It started out with us meeting at Bussboys and Poets for drinks, but wouldnt you know it, it was packed, so off we went to the next location. Ended up at Tabaq, which was a great place. Music wasnt my favorite, but it wasnt overly distracting which allowed us to talk and get to know each other. For once I shut up and did most of the listening, and I was able to learn alot about you; it was fun.

You were hungry, and didnt want to say goodbye, so we went to "The Diner" in Adams Morgan. Shortly after being seated and placing our orders an old friend of yours came in and coincidentally was seated at the table right next to us. I sat patiently waiting for the time we could get back to talking; I was trying to be polite and not look bored or annoyed that this guy was talking to you. One shitty Poorboy's Shrimp Sandwich and one order of "Chilean" Cheese with a side of chili and fries later we left. Thanks for treating, I dont mind the assertiveness but I will return the favor shortly.

I decided to go back to your place cause you wanted to hang. EVERYTHING went great until we went to sleep. I know its only been a short period of time, but it seemed different than before. Did I say something in my sleep? Did I let some hint of my sometimes (in reality I know its most times) obnoxious heavy sarcasm slip out and put doubt in your mind of the future of a possible relationship? Are our differences to great to overcome? Am I overreacting?

The morning goodbye and things still felt off. Today you will consume my thoughts, and not in the same way as the previous two days. Today, I will think only about how I fucked things up and if I will ever hear from you again. I have too much fear to initiate contact myself, which might exacerbate the situation but I think its a risk that I am going to take. UUGGGHHH. I guess there is a small part of me that hopes you will somehow stumble upon my blog and I will get concrete answers, even if they substantiates my worst fear.

Xanga Therapy. There is nothing like it!

Relationship Hypochondria

While walking to work to today I had time to think about some things of the previous week. My thoughts were focused mainly on my newly acquired obsession. After 15 minutes, of meticulously reviewing and analyzing what are most likely minor or non issues, I realized that I am a relationship hypochondriac. Let us define this for clarity purposes; A hypochondriac is:

• A person who constantly believes he or she is ill or about to become ill
  
• a patient with imaginary symptoms and ailments
  
• a person who worries or talks excessively about his or her health

Relationship hypochondriacs of course focus on their relationships not their health, and it sucks! Everything you do is self-scrutinized and you are in constant fear that I will do something/ have done something that will start the dissolution of the relationship. In relationships of the heart, I attribute these baseless fears to my own naïveté. In other relationships I worry less, but any worries I do have our usually cause I often act/speak without thinking first.

When did I become so concerned with what other people thought of me? Why do I suddenly feel the need to be validated by any and everyone? What happened to the carefree happy guy that entered Iowa State University "destined to change the world one person at a time"?

This is why I remained emotionally unavailable for so long; its easier to deal with mentally. Off to work and continue to worry.

Serial Blogger?!?!?!

Much like killers of the same type, I have become slightly addicted to my "craft". I have found that almost every moment of my being is blog worthy. Will this be the running record of my life? Who needs to scrapbook when they internet has endless space to post your life's story in whatever fashion you choose?

I have recently become enamored with the possibility of different types of blogs. Everything need not be written, a picture is worth a thousand words and "moving pictures" exponentiate that equation. The possibilites are endless, and hopefully not overwhelming.

This would make blog number 3 on as many websites. It boils down to the question when is too much. Each site has it advantages and disadvantages and if only they could all be combined into one perfect site it would be great. For now I will settle with relegating a different part of my life to each blog. xanga = life; wordpress = un lugar para practicar espanol; blogger = ?.... I will have to put some thought into this one. Right now I am thinking it is a good place to blog on my thoughts about tennis, or maybe to practice my creative writing. The decision is up in the air and will most likely remain so for a while. Maybe a couple test blogs to figure something out. I must say however I am impressed with the title. Peace for now cyberspace.

This is what I live with...

This is what I must endure. Part of me said it is wrong to put this out there but I had to put out there. I know this is her room and I have no business criticizing it but, this is not limited to her room; it is just exponentiated in her room. My favorite of course is the first pic. You get a full view of the entire room including the dead plant that is in the corner. I hope she doesnt have children anytime soon. Utter madness I tell you!