The Story of the Phantom Uterus and The Watermelon Seed

I was sitting aroun tonight talkin to my friend Jake and have finally worked up the courage to tell my most secret of stories....as you can tell by the journal entry it invloves a phantom uterus and a watermelon seed...read on its great work, Pulitzer Prize worthy if u ask me!

The Story of the Phantom Uterus and The Watermelon Seed© By Dominique Lipscomb

See I was born with an inexplicable uterus in my stomach cavity...none of the doctors could understand since I had all the male genitalia and just this "Phantom Uterus". My parents decided it wasnt worth the cost to have it removed when I was young since all the experts said "it poses no threat to his health and he will develop like a normal boy.(Thats only cause they didn't know I was gonna be dropped on my head and eat paint chips as a child).

Well all went fine until I turned 11 and started having internal bruising for no reason at all. I would wake up about once a month with bruises in my abdominal cavity. So my parents took me to the doctor and they found out that for some odd reason my floating uterus was menstruating. It was at this point the doctors said it was prolly best if I got it removed to prevent this from continuing, but my parents being too cheap decided I could "live with the bruising, it would make me stronger after all."

I went another two years before anymore new problems just the internal bruising once a month, which i had become a pro at masking with make up at this point or saying i got it from the previous nights Fight Club. Then one day I started gaining weight for no reason and i was havin all these weird moods and cravings so they took me to the doctor and and found out that a watermelon seed had implanted itself in my uterus and was growing. I was gonna be a proud parent! Well proud till I found out that I would have to pass it through my urethra cause insurance wouldnt pay for a c-section of a watermelon! That was when I said "fuck this...get this damn uterus outta me."

And thats how I had an abortion and a hysterectomy all in one. Come to think of it, it was one damn good watermelon....I guess that makes me a cannibal!

Hope You all enjoyed the story..have a great night. Please leave comments, it took alot of courage for me to tell this story, I would love to know what you thought about my ordeal and if you have any similar stories out there.