Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thank God the good does not always come with the bad

Today I got some of the best news I have had in a long time. After waiting all weekend to hear, the owner of the apt we viewed last week called to inform me that she wanted to extend an offer to us. This was on top of the already good news I had received from my permanent position that they wanted me to start working on Monday. I would have my own place and I would be able to afford it. Here I am on a high of my own manufacturing, E aint got nothin on me when I am in a good mood.

Shortly after this phone call however I sank down to the low I should have known was coming. Relaying this good information to my cousin was going to be depressing cause I knew she was not very interested in the place. Though I do not agree with her reasons I at least respect her opinion and want her to feel comfortable in her life. It is number 2 on Maslow's Hieracrhy of Needs. So now I sit waiting for the call to tell me she doesnt want the place and then having to make a call of my own and tell the one lady who was willing to give us a chance that we are not interested in taking it. What I have to believe is that this is what the Lord wants from me.

If as I suspect my cous does call and tell me that she is not interested in the place, I have formulated a new plan of action. Though I dont think I will be the happiest I can at home I will suck it up and deal with it. Second part will be to put as much of my earnings as possiblt to paying off my student loans. My parents want me to save, but personally I think debt elimination is far more practical than saving. Having nothin and owing nothing is far better than having something and owing a lot. I will be no one's slave! This part of the plan calls for spending as much as half of my earning on debt repayment.

I figure the longer it takes us to look for apts and the more time I spend at home the greater desire I will have to flee this city once more. I love my family to death, but its something about living at home that just makes me want to pack up and leave. Come December, if I am still living at home dont be surprised to hear I have picked up and moved to Seattle, Austin, San Diego, Houston, or even Miami. I will miss DC but the seperation will be exhilirating.

Three more days on the temp job, hopefully some tennis this week and weekend. And onwards and upwards from there. God grant me strength, wisdom and peace. Buenos Noche Mi Gente!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

What Does the Future Hold?

Today I went and looked at apts again with my cousin. And I am still in love with the place on Holmead. Here is the link if you care to look. We submitted the application today and we should find out before the weekend is over if we will have a new place to live come April 1st. I am pupmed about the possibility, but hesitant due to my recent history on applying for units. The cous is not too happy about the place for her own reasons but I think its a great place to live. O well updates to come when I get them. Weigh-in my people...what do you think?

Friday, March 23, 2007

I Did Not Lie

I told my grandparents the truth of my booboo and all was well in the Lipscomb household. Today is better as a result. Thats two things I didnt lie about. My grandfather doesnt want me to try and fix it myself cause he doesnt want more damage done, which I understand, but I wish he would let me try.

Supposed to play tennis this evening with a young lady I met through a tennis ladder so that should be fun. Barring of course that it doesnt rain. Went and looked an apt last night that I have like second most of all. Here is the order in case you were wonderin:

1341 T Street NW

3321 Holmead Place NW

1301 T Street NW

1325 13th Street NW

Google them, but if I found out that you had something to do with me not getting them "I WILL CUT YA!"

I really liked the place but there are reasons my cousin has reserves about moving in that I can understand. Here is why I am enamored with it. Two full baths. Elongated layout (bedrooms on opposite sides of the apt). City Living (imagine scenes of Brooklyn from the movies). Possibility of Pets (can you say woof or arff). Last but not least, the lady seems to want to help us get the place (I am tired of rejection).

But alas I will wait until we look at the other places to decide. Details to be divulged later. Buenos dia mi gente.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Fear of the unknown

As the day has worn by ever so slowly, I have been unable to do anything except fear the worst. I know they are only material objects but I wish so hard for the whole event to never have happened. If only I had paid attention. Right now the worst part is not knowning how bad the damage is. Will I be able to fix it? How upset will people be? How much trust will I lose as a result? Too many repercussions to think about and the stress is killing me.

This is not going to bode well for my health. I have prayed at least 100 times today that the damage isnt bad and the situation fixable. Lessons are great for the future, but in the present they suck. I am sure tomorrow will be better, but with so many things to do in the coming days I have to find time to make sure I fix these problems.

Life truly can be a house of falling cards. One piece falls out and the whole house comes down. Currently I am in a not so great streak, but I am sure that I will come through stronger than I was before. GOD superpowers or second chances would be nice right now. I just want 2 mins to do over. This morning from 8:29-8:31 ::SIGH::!

I am out for now. Will sign on tonight with an update on the whole situation. It might be a restless one!

I hate my car

because I get in so much trouble with it. Not even 2 hours into my day and already my dumbass has done something I will regret. Once again I got behind the wheel of my car and wasnt paying attention and as all you drivers out there can attest to this is a deadly combination. I was in an accident. Thats right people, count them we are at 2 self damage, 2 fender benders, and 1 junker. Three while in parking lots or parked car situations and four in the last 12 months. Laugh all you want. They were all done due to careless rushing the latest to my grandmothers car.

Today I was backing up so I could turn around to go my normal way to work and wasnt paying attention. As a result I went up under her car (she has a SUV). As a result I broke the clear plate cover she had and put some nice scratches on her car, but I dont think there were any dents. I cleaned and fled the crime scene too fast to actually know for sure. After surveying the area to make sure none of her neighbors had witnessed the incident and could report it to her before I did. My car has a nice volleyball size dent on the rear hatch and some serious scratching. UUUUGGGGHHH.

Now I know this is wrong but there were several positives I could take from this. I was blessed it was a family members car cause that allows me to correct the situation without the need for insurance and increased costs. I was happy (not really blessed) that my grandparents werent home at the time. This gives me all day to figure out my approach on telling them of my boo-boo, and do some research on how to correct the problem. Unless they discover it on their own, which is a possibility, but I am hoping they wont. I am also fortunate that I was going 5 mph or less as I hadn't pressed the gas had merely taken my foot off the break it could have been so much worst though, the slow speed is why I wasnt paying much attention in the first place. Oooooh the obscenities I shouted when I realized what happened.

So far I have found out that if things are only as bad as I think they are, It should only take about $20 and some elbow grease to erase the damage I have created to both of our cars. Most importantly hers. A little car polish and car wax, some fine grit sand paper, a damp sponge, dry towel and a lot of effort. Please pray for me that this combination of ingredients works in my favor.

I swear one of these days I am going to realize that you have to be aware 100% of the time when you're driving so I can stop getting in these stupid accidents. I know some of yall are gonna sound off on me or fear riding with em in the future with the new knowledge, and I understand. I would be scared to ride with me sometimes, if I wasnt driving.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Search continues

and its not as fun as I hoped it would be. Who wouldve known how frickin competitive hunting for a decent place to live in the city could be. Its exciting finding places that are nice but they are ineveitbaly compared to past viewed locations. And though I doubt I will be able to afford a puppy, I no longer want to live some place where people wont tolerate pets. HELLO...Pets are known to prevent suicide amongst their owners, I think renting a place where someone blew their own brains out is alot more difficult than cleaning up any signs of animals. But thats just an opinion of mine. And dont be crazy yall I aint considering suicide.

I think my new hobby, which I fully dont have enough time for is going to the bookstore. I LOVE IT SSSSSOOOO MUCH. I would like the library equally but they never have what I want to read there. I am starting to be able to play tennis more and I am doing really well aprendido espanol. Last noche yo aprendido el parts de body. Come May 9, I am trinaing for the Marine Corps Marathon on October 28. I know its hot as hell in DC over the summer, but thats when I enjoy training cause I will run early in the morning or the evening outdoors when its not as hot, but not freezing cold like it is during the winter time.

My request still stands. Help me practice my Spanish. I am commited. Marathon and Spanish at the same time. Watch Me!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Read the fine print

Doing so can save you alot of grief in your life. While today still doesnt compare to yesterday, it just got a little shittier over my lunch break. Becuase I didnt read the fine print when I consolidated my federal unsubsidized student loans, I am now forced to start paying them back 3 months earlier than I had originally planned. That means there is an additional $146.13 a month MINIMUM that I must now come up with. That is if I want to be making that payment for the next 20.75 years and have paid almost as much in interest as the principal. Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! I better make some damn good money from this fucking education. O did I mention that was just on my federal Loan. I still have a minimum payment to make on my Private Loans. I know its too late for me, and I was good about barrowing, but they really do need to have a class about financial planning and the implications connected with barrowing, I am in full support. Either that or we need to convert to a socialist republic so we can all be poor. I am tired of Paul Wall runnin around with a mouth full of diamonds while I might be subjected to eatin Ramen, and others are forced to rummage through garbage.

I am puttin every damn free dollar I can to get this debt out from under me. Any additional money that I make outside of my current salary will go towards paying off these loans. Lottery Win (unlikely) = student loans. Inheritance (Highly Unlikely) = student loans. Become rich old womans Cabana boy (possibility) = the high life. HAHAHA. Debt free living has to be far more exhilarating than a week in St. Tropex! This affirms it; I will be acquiring a second and maybe third job in the near future. Keep your eyes and ears open for night time shifts and dont be surprised if you swing by Domino's and see me making your pizza. I promise I wont include my "secret" topping with yours.

Its amazing

you can just ask for help and He will answer. I was worried that I wouldnt realize his call when it came and it He knew so He made it easy for me. We were rejected again for the apt, we didnt really want it, but the price made it tempting. I asked for direction from God and He gave me a lighted aisle. I am so grateful for this blessing. Rejection sucks, but I can live with it this time.

For those that worried despite me telling you not to, take confidence in the fact that I am much better today. Had my little breakdown and putting the pieces back in place. The advice was great too. Dont know where things are going to go from here, but thats the fun part.

Sad news is that I might have to move out of my grandparents house soon. Living at home is going to suck, mainly cause its not a very healthy environment to be in. But I love my family and I will work through it. I am off to do some work. Later for now

Monday, March 19, 2007

I think its time

to get a journal that I can write things down in. I don't want people to think have secrets that are so deep and dark that they cant be posted on here, but I guess there are somethings I am not ready to publicly vocalize. I have been hesitant in the past because I felt I wasn't committed to the idea of writing in it. I thought it was something that I was supposed to do everyday and I wouldn't. As well there is the stigma of a male writing in a journal; I have dealt with enough questions about my sexuality in the past, I don't need to deal with that.

But I am really sick of this shit right now. I cant afford to go to therapy, so I need to write things down so that I can remember what was going on in my head at the point in time when I can afford it. There are so many issues that I keep bottled up inside it is now starting to affect my personal well being. This morning I woke up and wanting to cry and tired due to the restless night I had. I don't know if writing it down will help, but I think it will and it seriously cant do any harm, so what is there to lose.

Despite efforts to seek guidance from The ONE above, I am fearful I wouldn't hear His response unless it bit me in the face. How do you truly know what His will is and that this is His guidance. I want so bad to connect but don't know how to do it. I fight constantly with my past demons and lack of belief and the person I enjoy of myself and the connection I want to have with God. I don't want to lose the me I have come to love and enjoy, but if I have learned anything momentary pleasures are quickly fleeting and can leave a lifetime of pain in their wake.

Please GOD I am at you mercy. I need your help!

Now that I am sitting here crying at work I need to go and take a breather. Please don't worry out there, I am gettin my shit together, this is just how I am dealing with it. I will feel much better . PROMISE! Life cannot keep me down. It might be a dark day, but the sun does come out tomorrow. (I know its corny, but its really how I feel)

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Too Good To Last

forever at least. That whole writing everyday, worked then but it hasnt been needed recently. Hoy el tiempo era muy calor. I got to play tennis for an hour and a half after work. It was great. The guy wasnt much competition but thats not the point of it. My dad said he wanted to talk to me "when I slowed down" this morning, in all its vague weirdness. What the hell am I supposed to take from that?!?!? Applied for an apartment this weekend and its a really great place. I am hoping and even doing a little praying that every thing works out in my favor. Also I have been looking at some decorating ideas and dogs (the place allows pets), this is me using "the secret" to get what I want. You Know What I am Talkin Bout! HAHAHA THE SECRET!!!! HAHA
When do I find the time to do this you ask. Well I did some calculations today and in 8 hours of work I do at most 90 mins of work each day. This give me plenty of valuable time to research topics that I am interested in online. Everything from my tennis game to decorating, and pets.

But I am done for now. Holla back at me.

P.S. alot of good as of lately in mi vida. Hablando espanol by septiembre or octubre.
"The Man Who Knows Something, Knows He Knows Nothing at All"